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25 个经典笑话!

发表于2004/9/25 0:29:00  1210人阅读

                                                                        

                                                                       

   26某日刘洪涛遇到外宾,上前搭话曰:I am Hong Tao Liu,外宾曰:我  

   还是方片七呢!                                                      

                                                                       

                                                                        

                                                                       

   27在茫茫人海中,当你收到这份真挚的祝福,请你用尽全身力气把头往墙上    

   撞——看见没有?你眼前无数的星星就是我无限的关爱!                     

                                                                       

                                                                        

   28我在天空写下你的名字,却被风儿带走了;我在沙滩写下你的名字,却被浪花

   带走了;于是我在大街的每个角落写下你的名字…...  靠,我被警察带走了!

                                                                       

                                                                        

   29尊敬的用户您好:您的话费余额已不足0.1元,请您在近日内:  

   ,砸 铁卖点儿血,卖房卖地卖老婆,把话费交上。谢谢合    

   作!中 信。                                                   

                                                                        

                                                                       

   30我是一棵葱,站在风雨中,谁要拿我沾大酱     宗!走过南闯

   过北,厕所后面喝过水,火车道上压过腿,还和傻子亲 嘴。 啥也不 

   拒,就是想你!                                                      

                                                                        

                                                                       

                                                                       

   31恋爱了吧!高兴了吧!从此花钱大了吧!结婚了吧!爽了吧!从此有人管了  

   吧!离婚了吧!自由了吧!做爱要花钱了吧!艾 滋了吧!傻了吧!躺在床上等死

   吧!                                                                

                                                                       

                                                                       

   32“二他骂,泥介四赶骂七呀?”“桑发员达管斯七!”“原高被高?”“原高!”“原 

   高,够牛   笔地呀!”“牛  骂呀,被强 见了!”                       

                                                                       

                                                                       

   33因为口渴,上帝创造了水;因为黑暗,上帝创造了火;因为我需要朋友,所以

   上帝让你来到我身边,从而上帝失去了盛饭的桶!                         

                                                                       

                                                                       

   34你是否孤独寂寞?如果是,那么你下楼去买一根绳和一根棍,将绳子系在棍  

   上,在起风时去楼顶挥动棍子。别人要问你:干什么呢?你就说:我抽 风呢! 

                                                                       

                                                                       

                                                                        

   35老夫妻到饭店吃饭,服务员见妻子一人独吃,丈夫做对面一口不动。“您为杀不

   吃?”                                                               

   “我要等她吃完后把假牙还给我。”                                       

                                                                       

                                                                        

   36你被通 缉了……以下是你的罪行…对朋友太好,有够义气,善良纯真贴心又可爱…

   本庭宣 判…一辈子做我的好朋友                                         

                                                                       

                                                                        

   37大象路遇一条蛇,挡住了去路,甚为恼火的骂到:”看你那  B  样,滚开“,蛇

   说:“你那   B  样好,脸上长个鸡  ",象说:"你好,  巴上张个脸        

                                                                       

                                                                        

   38很久很久以前,在一个风雪交加的夜晚,一个老爷爷独自在路上走着,突然摔

   倒了,                                                              

   摔掉了自己的小    鸡,为了纪念他,从此人们管他叫“剩 人!”     

                                                                                                                                              

                                                                       

   39苍蝇老公带苍蝇老婆去厕所用餐,母苍蝇问:老公,为什么我们总要吃  屎呢?

   么时候我们才可以不吃 屎呢?公苍蝇生气的说:吃饭时候不准问这么恶心的问题 

                                                                        

                                                                       

   40春天到了,小鸟恋 爱了,蚂蚁同 居了,苍蝇怀 孕了,蚊子流 产了,毛毛虫

   嫁了,青蛙也生孩子了,酒 窝,我们还等什么?                       

   41天为什么这么黑呀?                                                  

   因为牛牛在天上飞呀!                                                 

   牛牛为什么会在天上飞呀?                                             

   因为...                                                             

   那是因为你在地上吹呀!!!                                           

                                                                        

                                                                        

                                                                         

   42某天见你在超市把手伸进验价格的机器,显示猪蹄8,你以为机器出了问题, 

   头伸进去,我差点笑死:猪头18!                                        

                                                                        

                                                                         

                                                                        

   43猎人猎熊,未果,为活命,顺从熊,被熊辱。次日,为雪耻挟更利器再猎,依 

   然未果,依被辱。数次之后,上山再猎是时,熊苦笑曰:你丫打猎还是卖    

   呢?!                                                               

                                                                         

                                                                        

                                                                           

   44有多少爱,可以重来。至尊宝教你一招:晚上把你们家装饼干的盒子拿到阳台  

   上,然后对着月亮高喊:波若波箩蜜!                                      

                                                                           

                                                                          

   45身披一条麻袋,脚踏七彩拖鞋,来到我的面前说:“行行好,给点吧。”        

                                                                           

                                                                        

   46鱼对水说:你看不到我的眼泪,因为我在水里。水对鱼说:我能感觉到你的眼  

   泪,因为你在我心里。                                                    

                                                                           

                                                           

                                                                           

   47上联:在上是帅,下联:在下为猪,横批:天蓬元帅。请问阁下是?               

                                                                           

                                                                           

   48八十年代的港版《射雕》里,几个宋兵围攻郭靖父亲,被其劈啦啪拉逐一杀    

   死。就在那几个倒下的宋兵里,有一个叫周星驰                               

                                                                           

                                                                           

   49 还记得那年在树下军训吗?教练对同学们说:“第一排报数!”你惊讶地看着教

   练,教练又大声说了一便:“报数!”于是,你极不情愿地转过身去抱住 树!  

                                                                            

                                                                           

   50语文课,老师叫起一昏睡同学回答问题,该同学迷迷糊糊啥也说不出…… 老师  

   说:“你会不会呀?不会也吱一声啊!”该同学:“吱。”                                                            

                                                                                            

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